What does "Death Midwifery" mean to me?
I believe Death Midwifery is the act of "being with" and supporting the dying while they come face to face with what can be one of the most important, sometimes scary, and difficult realizations in their existance, that of their own end and all the details that go along with it. Being with someone means to me that no matter what they go through you will be able the stand firm and be thier witness, encouraging and reassuring them that all is well, they are doing a perfect job of it all, and that it is moving along just as it should for them.
To me, birth and death are the two most significant and sacred of passages any of us humans will ever experience, yet in the past we somehow became convinced that we should relegate these processes to someone outside our own families. I believe we have come full circle in our personal and collective growth to realize that events of this magnitude are best handled (when possible) in the home surrounded in a bubble of love and support by those closest to us.
Todays Death Midwife is there, often assisting in making funeral or home vigil arrangments, helping with ideas if needed for memorializing the life of the one passing, as well as the pratical details of arranging for burial or cremation, all while serving the needs of those involved in this time of stress and sadness, working to support those needs and to empower each one involved.
As a Reiki Comfort Therapist for the Hospice Organization, and a Death Midwife, it has been my experience that those who get involved in the care and tending of their own dying loved ones with the support and direction of a Death Midwife are less apt to become depressed and are more easily able to work through the grief process in a healthy manner. It has further been my experience that those who are dying and are being tended by their loved ones and a Death Midwife have a more peacful, relaxed often less medicated and therefore more conscious transition.
I provide the following services all of which can be expanded on or changed for your particular wishes and needs:
*Education of patient and family about options available to them for the planning and design of the death, funeral, home vigil, body preservation and transportation for dispensation
*Regular Reiki treatments to patient and interested caregivers
*Beautiful music CD's
*My presence at the time of death if the patient or family so wishes
*Attandance of and verbal guidance for those washing and dressing the body for viewing and or home vigil
*Contact with a local funeral home for transportation to funeral home for service and or to cemetary for burial or to crematorium, or direction on how the family may provide this for themselves if they so desire
*Ideas on memorializing their loved one
*Follow up with the family after the death to check for what support I can offer in the closure process
For me the ideal situation of my process would be to be called in when the loved one is still able to communicate and make most of the decisions as to how they would like to live the remainder of thier lives. I would go to the patient daily to check in with their needs and supply Reiki treatments to them and their stressed caregivers. I like to spend time with the dying getting as much imput on how they want their dying support to look as well as any wishes they have for the final disposition of their remains. Our time together during this planning and the Reiki treatments helps them to get to know me and trust me that I will be there and know just what to do when they most need my support. This work would perferably be done as a group with family members present and involved, but making sure to see that the patients wishes are honored first and foremost.
Costs for a Death Midwife vary person to person, but most people charge between $1,500.00 to $3,00.00 at the present time. My work like still others, is on a donation basis and no one will be turned away because of an inability to pay for this kind of support.
Joyce Barron, RM
TOUCH---What People Want
BEING TOUCHED, BEING IN TOUCH
It is my personal belief that we do not touch each other enough in our society these days. I feel that clean healthy touch helps us feel loved and connected to others and is a very important thing to do.
What is the significance of human contact, of touch? Rachel Remen, a doctor who has been working for more than twenty years with people who have illnesses, anxieties and other malady’s, speaks of touching as a deeply reassuring and nurturing phenomenon. We experience touch through our skin. A piece of skin the size of a quarter contains more than 3 million cells, 100 to 340 sweat glands, 50 nerve endings, and 3 feet of blood vessels. Touch is essential it provides comfort, security, warmth, and food.
All people need to be touched. For some people, connection begins with touch, physical touch. Touching can feel magical. I really do feel that if it isn’t physically healing, it is certainly emotionally and psychologically healing.” Touch is the strongest nonverbal message that one person can give another. “Nurturing,” “touch,” and “connection” are synonymous.
Quotes About Touch
The recommended daily requirement for hugs (physical touch) is: four per day for survival, eight per day for maintenance, and twelve per day for growth.
Virginia Satir
Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all can turn a life around.
Leo Buscaglia
The universe is a continuous web. Touch it at any point and the whole web quivers.
Stanley Kunitz
Let us touch everyone, the dying, the poor, the lonely, the whole, the happy, and the unwanted according to the graces we have received and let us not be ashamed or slow to do the humble work.
Mother Teresa
We do not believe in ourselves until someone reveals that deep inside us something is valuable, worth listening to, worthy of our trust, sacred to our touch.
E.E. Cummings
Have a heart that never hardens, and a temper that never tires, and a touch that never hurts.
Charles Dickens
REFERENCES
For another wonderful Overview of Death Midwifery see the following:
http://ppo-canada.ca/death/midwifery.htm
CINDEA -- Canadian Integrative Network for Death Education and Alternatives http://www.cindea.ca/
http://www.cindea.ca/midwifery.html
Pashta MaryMoon http://www.beyonds.ca/Journeying/home.html
DEATH MIDWIFE AND HOME FUNERAL INFORMATION
Joyce Barron www.redcabinwellness.com (Lake Tapps, WA)
Char Barrett, MSP www.ASacredMoment.com (Everett, WA)
DeannaCochran, RN, BA Certified Hospice & Palliative Nurse
http://www.agentleguide.com/ a website about how doulas can help the dying
Pashta MaryMoon http://ppo-canada.ca/death/midwifery.htm
Honor My Wishes www.honormywishes.org (Enumclaw, WA)
Nora Cedarwind www.thethresholdsoflife.org
Marilyn Strong www.handsofalchemy.com
George Anderson www.georgeanderson.com
Cremation Society Northwest (206) 776-8900
People's Memorial Association www.peoplesmemorial.org
The Four Winds Society, www.thefourwinds.com
Books
The Art of Death Midwifery-Joellyn St. Pierre
Being with Dying-John Halifax
What Dying People Want-Robert M. Baird and Stuart Rosenbaum
Caring for the Dying-Baird and Rosenbaum
Final Gifts-Maggie Callanan and Patricia Kelly
On Grief and Grieving-Elizabeth Kubler-Ross
On Life after Death-Elizabeth Kubler-Ross
One Last Time-John Edwards
Lessons from the Light-George Anderson and Andrew Barone
Life after Death-Deepak Chopra
Death and Dying-Sonja Eubanks
Hello from Heaven-Bill and Judy Guggenheim
Dealing Creatively with Death-Ernest Morgan
Sacred Dying-Megory Anderson
Deathing, an Intelligent Alternative for the Final Moments of Life-
Anya Foos Graber
I believe Death Midwifery is the act of "being with" and supporting the dying while they come face to face with what can be one of the most important, sometimes scary, and difficult realizations in their existance, that of their own end and all the details that go along with it. Being with someone means to me that no matter what they go through you will be able the stand firm and be thier witness, encouraging and reassuring them that all is well, they are doing a perfect job of it all, and that it is moving along just as it should for them.
To me, birth and death are the two most significant and sacred of passages any of us humans will ever experience, yet in the past we somehow became convinced that we should relegate these processes to someone outside our own families. I believe we have come full circle in our personal and collective growth to realize that events of this magnitude are best handled (when possible) in the home surrounded in a bubble of love and support by those closest to us.
Todays Death Midwife is there, often assisting in making funeral or home vigil arrangments, helping with ideas if needed for memorializing the life of the one passing, as well as the pratical details of arranging for burial or cremation, all while serving the needs of those involved in this time of stress and sadness, working to support those needs and to empower each one involved.
As a Reiki Comfort Therapist for the Hospice Organization, and a Death Midwife, it has been my experience that those who get involved in the care and tending of their own dying loved ones with the support and direction of a Death Midwife are less apt to become depressed and are more easily able to work through the grief process in a healthy manner. It has further been my experience that those who are dying and are being tended by their loved ones and a Death Midwife have a more peacful, relaxed often less medicated and therefore more conscious transition.
I provide the following services all of which can be expanded on or changed for your particular wishes and needs:
*Education of patient and family about options available to them for the planning and design of the death, funeral, home vigil, body preservation and transportation for dispensation
*Regular Reiki treatments to patient and interested caregivers
*Beautiful music CD's
*My presence at the time of death if the patient or family so wishes
*Attandance of and verbal guidance for those washing and dressing the body for viewing and or home vigil
*Contact with a local funeral home for transportation to funeral home for service and or to cemetary for burial or to crematorium, or direction on how the family may provide this for themselves if they so desire
*Ideas on memorializing their loved one
*Follow up with the family after the death to check for what support I can offer in the closure process
For me the ideal situation of my process would be to be called in when the loved one is still able to communicate and make most of the decisions as to how they would like to live the remainder of thier lives. I would go to the patient daily to check in with their needs and supply Reiki treatments to them and their stressed caregivers. I like to spend time with the dying getting as much imput on how they want their dying support to look as well as any wishes they have for the final disposition of their remains. Our time together during this planning and the Reiki treatments helps them to get to know me and trust me that I will be there and know just what to do when they most need my support. This work would perferably be done as a group with family members present and involved, but making sure to see that the patients wishes are honored first and foremost.
Costs for a Death Midwife vary person to person, but most people charge between $1,500.00 to $3,00.00 at the present time. My work like still others, is on a donation basis and no one will be turned away because of an inability to pay for this kind of support.
Joyce Barron, RM
TOUCH---What People Want
BEING TOUCHED, BEING IN TOUCH
It is my personal belief that we do not touch each other enough in our society these days. I feel that clean healthy touch helps us feel loved and connected to others and is a very important thing to do.
What is the significance of human contact, of touch? Rachel Remen, a doctor who has been working for more than twenty years with people who have illnesses, anxieties and other malady’s, speaks of touching as a deeply reassuring and nurturing phenomenon. We experience touch through our skin. A piece of skin the size of a quarter contains more than 3 million cells, 100 to 340 sweat glands, 50 nerve endings, and 3 feet of blood vessels. Touch is essential it provides comfort, security, warmth, and food.
All people need to be touched. For some people, connection begins with touch, physical touch. Touching can feel magical. I really do feel that if it isn’t physically healing, it is certainly emotionally and psychologically healing.” Touch is the strongest nonverbal message that one person can give another. “Nurturing,” “touch,” and “connection” are synonymous.
Quotes About Touch
The recommended daily requirement for hugs (physical touch) is: four per day for survival, eight per day for maintenance, and twelve per day for growth.
Virginia Satir
Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all can turn a life around.
Leo Buscaglia
The universe is a continuous web. Touch it at any point and the whole web quivers.
Stanley Kunitz
Let us touch everyone, the dying, the poor, the lonely, the whole, the happy, and the unwanted according to the graces we have received and let us not be ashamed or slow to do the humble work.
Mother Teresa
We do not believe in ourselves until someone reveals that deep inside us something is valuable, worth listening to, worthy of our trust, sacred to our touch.
E.E. Cummings
Have a heart that never hardens, and a temper that never tires, and a touch that never hurts.
Charles Dickens
REFERENCES
For another wonderful Overview of Death Midwifery see the following:
http://ppo-canada.ca/death/midwifery.htm
CINDEA -- Canadian Integrative Network for Death Education and Alternatives http://www.cindea.ca/
http://www.cindea.ca/midwifery.html
Pashta MaryMoon http://www.beyonds.ca/Journeying/home.html
DEATH MIDWIFE AND HOME FUNERAL INFORMATION
Joyce Barron www.redcabinwellness.com (Lake Tapps, WA)
Char Barrett, MSP www.ASacredMoment.com (Everett, WA)
DeannaCochran, RN, BA Certified Hospice & Palliative Nurse
http://www.agentleguide.com/ a website about how doulas can help the dying
Pashta MaryMoon http://ppo-canada.ca/death/midwifery.htm
Honor My Wishes www.honormywishes.org (Enumclaw, WA)
Nora Cedarwind www.thethresholdsoflife.org
Marilyn Strong www.handsofalchemy.com
George Anderson www.georgeanderson.com
Cremation Society Northwest (206) 776-8900
People's Memorial Association www.peoplesmemorial.org
The Four Winds Society, www.thefourwinds.com
Books
The Art of Death Midwifery-Joellyn St. Pierre
Being with Dying-John Halifax
What Dying People Want-Robert M. Baird and Stuart Rosenbaum
Caring for the Dying-Baird and Rosenbaum
Final Gifts-Maggie Callanan and Patricia Kelly
On Grief and Grieving-Elizabeth Kubler-Ross
On Life after Death-Elizabeth Kubler-Ross
One Last Time-John Edwards
Lessons from the Light-George Anderson and Andrew Barone
Life after Death-Deepak Chopra
Death and Dying-Sonja Eubanks
Hello from Heaven-Bill and Judy Guggenheim
Dealing Creatively with Death-Ernest Morgan
Sacred Dying-Megory Anderson
Deathing, an Intelligent Alternative for the Final Moments of Life-
Anya Foos Graber
